My friend is getting a divorce (party)
A theoretical friend. No, seriously. Nobody I know, friends. I’m not ever here trying to spill the tea on my business website about discord in the husband pool.
But, y’all… just know that when that the sweet bell chimes to tell us that a new cougar got her wings, I’m gonna throw that bitch the most kickass party to sweep out the old and ring in the new.
(Perhaps after the new year? I hear that’s when “Divorce season” starts. I’m not being hopeful that shit falls apart after bad gifts and even worse time with the in-laws. I’m just over here stating facts.)
You might have wondered if I’ve considered whether this is this in good taste? I did. It was brief and passed quickly. Mostly because I confirmed in a round of honest-to-god market research that this is an emerging theme for our demographic and that people do NOT have good ideas.
The ideas are boring. Some are mean. The merch is meh, but the ideas are what made me feel bad for these poor women out there having boring divorce parties.
Things escalated quickly after that…
So yeah, the much awaited follow up to The Full Roper (which celebrates the genius of the original style icon and caftan queen, Helen Roper), is the COMPLETE “My Friend is Getting a Divorce” party planning pack.
I had a ball making this thing. I came up with some hilarious activities (only one of which involves setting things on fire) and actual good advice that you can pull out when things get real. Choose your emotional support friend in advance, folks. But even if you’re not good at saying the right thing, I’ve got you. One-liners are supplied for when shit gets real.
The guide has a real timeline that you can use to get your ass in gear, a shopping list that you can knock out on your phone, and two invitation templates. Anyone say memory purge station?
But seriously, is it bad that I low-key want someone to end it so I can beta test? #finishhim
(Perhaps I’ve been reading too much romantasy, with too many heroines emerging like butterflies from their bad relationship chrysalis-es? Probably.)
I’ve assured the husband that this party pack is not a signal. Yet. Forget I said that. Instead, just buy the pack and shower your newly single friends. They’re the ones who need it. I think.
